Ludicrous Living

Why the U.S. Military Doesn’t Train on XBoxes

2010-02-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

Alright, my unplanned, unintentional hiatus from my blog has lasted long enough. This is just too ludicrous to not post. A recent article on wired.com explains why the U.S. military uses computers rather than Xboxes (or is it Xboxen?), even though the latter is cheaper and much easier to configure. Here's one of the three reasons Microsoft gave to Roger Smith, chief technology officer for PEO STRI, the Army command responsible for purchasing training equipment:

"if the Xbox became an Army training device, it would taint its reputation. Microsoft was concerned that “do we want the Xbox 360 to be seen as having the flavor of a weapon? Do we want Mom and Dad knowing that their kid is buying the same game console as the military trains the SEALs and Rangers on?”

Really, Microsoft? Well you better not tell "Mom and Dad" that that PC that the whole family uses currently possesses the "flavor of a weapon" because maybe they'll stop buying those, too. (Also, why is the kid buying the game console and not the supposedly concerned parents?) True, it's quite unlikely that the PC at their house has the same training software on it that the military does, but Microsoft wouldn't have to make the Xbox game(s) that the military would use available to the general public either. It's not even the game itself that they're apparently worried about, it's the game console. I'm sure there are a number of people out there that would refuse to have an Xbox in their house knowing that the U.S. military trains on them, I just don't think that that number is greater than the number of consoles Microsoft would sell to the military.

Oddly enough, another concern that Microsoft listed is that they couldn't handle the workload of producing Xbox 360s for both the military and the general public. Seems to me that these complaints cancel each other out. If you think manufacturing for the military will cause civilians to no longer want your product, then production won't have to worry about a double workload.

360s for the military seems like a win-win situation. Microsoft gets more money (if they're that concerned about a "shortage of Xbox 360s", don't they have the means to expand production?), and the military gets a cheaper, less problematic training device that its users are more likely familiar with.

Dancing Lessons Are Not Considered Health Care

2009-05-08T16:50:00.000-07:00

I was just perusing my HSA's List of Allowable (and not allowable) Health Care Expenses to see what all I've been paying for out of pocket that I don't actually have to (like contact solution!). I came across a few that I found rather amusing...

Dancing lessons: Not Qualified. Who thought dancing lessons would be covered as a health expense? Why, because it's aerobic exercise? Well then you better throw curling lessons on the list, too! And Wii Fit!
Circumcision (non-infant): Not Qualified. Sorry, Abraham wannabes, unless you're eight days old, you're out of luck. Talk about adding insult to injury.
DNA testing for paternal responsibility: Not Qualified. You know what is qualified though? Birth control. So are vasectomies. I wonder how many people upon learning that think "I sure wish I knew that last year".
Experimental Drugs: Qualified. But only if obtained legally. I'm clearly thinking of the wrong kind of experimental drugs.
Marijuana: Not Qualified. Ah, there we go.
Smoking Program: Qualified. What's a smoking program? A program that's on fire? They're clearly not talking about a program for smoking marijuana. Maybe this is like a cigar club or something. If so, sign me up - I'm qualified!

Brinkster Customer Service Fail

2009-03-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I blogged about how "great" my web hosting company, Brinkster, is. Apparently they thought this faint praise was sincere, because they're back at it. I went to listen to some briTunes this afternoon and was met with a very generic parser error screen. Real lovely. Turns out this was true of all of the pages. I just visited the site last night and hadn't made any changes since, so I knew the error wasn't on my end.

I checked my email to see if I was notified of any outages, which was a waste of 40 seconds because that's not how Brinkster rolls. They view service issues as a way to increase site traffic (who cares if it's pissed off site traffic, right?) so they make you log in, chat with customer support and let them tell you condescendingly that the site is down for maintenance via this link. Sorry, guys, didn't realize that one of the requirements of being your customer was to check the Brinkster news page every hour to see if my site might be down. Ever hear of email?

Additionally, if my site is going to be down for 24 hours (which it was last time...we're approaching 12 this time), it should, at the very least, be set up to redirect to a nice, clean, plain-English page explaining that the site is currently down because of Brinkster's lousy servers and not because of me, the customer (even better if it provides a link to the news post). It's bad enough that the site is down, to throw some nondescript parser error message at you is inexcusable.

Unfortunately, explaining these ideas to customer support feels like explaining capitalism to a squirrel. They can nod* and pretend they understand that you want something in return for what you gave them, but really they don't care because they already have your nuts.

_____
* the computer senses this nodding and outputs "I have noted that for you" as a result

Griffey and Catheters

2009-03-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

What do those have in common? For now, they are merely topics from the same doughnut meeting at my workplace. That's right, work here and you'll get to munch on a tasty treat while discussing topics such as kitty litter, bunk beds, toilets, and beer. All in the same meeting! (Not necessarily in that order, though). If that's not a pitch for the company, I don't know what is. Unfortunately, we're not really hiring right now. Sucks for you.

Street View and the Patriot Act

2008-12-09T12:17:00.000-08:00

To anyone who is of the belief that Google Street View is "the Patriot Act in action", please go educate yourself before opening your mouth and sounding retarded. Google just added a ton of new locations, so I'm sure there will be more of an uprise by silly people than ever in the next few days. But before you speak and cause me to bang my head against my desk, please consider the following:

Google is a corporation, not a government agency.
Street View is not live, so please quit looking for the camera right outside your house. It already drove by 6 months ago.
Google only travels on public property that any bozo can take pictures of (and when they accidentally stumble onto private property, they get in trouble for it and take it down)
Google has technology that automatically blurs out faces and license plate numbers, so no, your wife can't tell that it was you leaving the strip club in the middle of the day. You might want to throw away that shirt though, just to be safe. If you're still worried about it, you can always hit the "Report a concern" link at the bottom of the image. It might also be a good idea to stop frequenting strip clubs in the middle of the day, pervert.

How many golden rings DID my true love give to me?

2008-12-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

Most people would answer "five". According to the actual lyrics, they'd be wrong. Take a look:

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

"My true love" sent all those things just on the fifth day of Christmas. If what most people assume was correct, it would instead say something like this:

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings, in addition to the
Four calling birds sent to me on the fourth day of Christmas,
Three French hens sent to me on the third day of Christmas,
Two turtle doves sent to me on the second day of Christmas,
And the partridge in a pear tree sent to me on the first day of Christmas

But it doesn't. So instead we are left with the following gifts from said "true love":

1 x 12 = 12 Partridges in (a) pear tree(s)
Note: it is unclear whether each partridge got it's own pear tree or not
2 x 11 = 22 turtle doves
3 x 10 = 30 french hens
4 x 9 = 36 calling birds
5 x 8 = 40 golden rings
6 x 7 = 42 geese a-layin'
7 x 6 = 42 swans a-swimmin'
8 x 5 = 40 maids a-milkin'
9 x 4 = 36 ladies dancing
10 x 3 = 30 lords a-leapin'
11 x 2 = 22 pipers piping
12 x 1 = 12 drummers drumming

And you thought 8 maids a-milkin' sounded like a lot! We now have a total of 364 gifts, nearly one for each day of the year. Of those, there are 184 birds and 84 of 'em are either a-swimmin' or a-layin' (even more birds!). I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather just get a digital camera or something.

Alumni Addition

2008-11-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

My high school has an "Alumni Addition" of their newsletter. No, it's not a math club. It's an embarrassment.

Oh-bah-ma

2008-11-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

For those that haven't seen this video, check it out.

Then check out Ziegler's response to all the love he's been getting for it.

People are smart.

Uh...

2008-11-04T17:09:00.001-08:00

I know msnbc is extremely biased and all, but....really?

Landslide

2008-11-04T16:09:00.001-08:00

Well, you can call Maine, it's done. Obama is winning 67% to 33%.

Check it out.

Why did no one tell me we entered an alternate universe today?

2008-10-29T15:10:00.001-07:00

OK, first Deborah sends me this opinion column from ABC News about the bias and decline of the media, and then I find this commentary from CNN about how Obama is a big fat (rich) liar. Even weirder...I found the latter on the front page of digg (which in my opinion stands for something like "democrats in good graces"). And neither of the articles are from Fox News....what's going on here?!?

The newest 3 letter word

2008-10-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

Jobs is a 3-letter word? Funny how you don't see this all over the news. Probably won't even be an SNL sketch about it.

TB

2008-10-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Person A: [Wearing a Tampa Bay Rays hat]
Person B: What does that stand for? Don't tell me....The Bears!

USDA

2008-10-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Person A: What does "USDA" stand for?
Person B: United States Department
Person A: of....?
Person B: America

*names have been changed to protect the ludicrous

Brinkster

2008-10-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

My webhost is Brinkster. I have highly recommended Brinkster to the few clients that I have as a web developer. They have a great referral program.

So go get yourself a Brinkster website. Seriously, they're great.

However... like every good thing, there are side effects, and Brinkster is no exception. So, here is my disclaimer: Brinkster may cause headaches.

For example, your website might all of a sudden go down without you doing a thing. You won't know about it until a user tries to go to your website and sees nothing but the domain name listed there. So you will go to chat with Brinkster support and ask what's up and they will tell you the following:

"Windows updates were run on the computer and this caused the operating system to crash. We rolled back the updates that were run on the server this morning. This corrected most of the errors, but left the computer unable to communicate with the rest of the network or go online. We have built a new server to replace the one you were on and are moving the website files from the backups made a few hours before the crash. Once the files are restored, the website will be online. We truly apologize for the down time you have experienced today."

If you have an ounce of common sense, you will proceed to inquire whether they sent an email out explaining this because even though you didn't see one, you give them the benefit of the doubt and figure that you just didn't see it. Brinkster will respond:

"No we did not. Unless users were coming into chat earlier in the day.

We do not have an email system in place to do this."

Then you will proceed to bang your head against the desk, thus creating the aforementioned headache. That their server crashes and leaves your site down for hours is bad enough, but for them to knowingly not bother to have a basic system that at least informs their paying customers of the situation is simply inexcusable.

There are other things that may induce the side effects as well, but I won't bother to write them down because someone already did.

But by all means, if you need a website, go with Brinkster (using one of my reference links, of course). Just be wary of the potential side effects.

Desperate Times Call For Stupid Lawsuits

2008-09-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Democrats sue to make Rossi call himself "Republican" instead of "GOP"

The state Democratic Party filed suit Tuesday in an attempt to force Dino Rossi to list his party preference as "Republican" on the November ballot instead of "GOP Party."
Democrats say the Iraq War and low approval ratings for President Bush have left the Republican Party a damaged brand and that Rossi is trying to distance himself by using GOP as his affiliation.

Can anyone say desperate?

A statement issued by Rossi's campaign called the lawsuit "an act of a desperate incumbent." Rossi has said that he's used the term GOP for years and isn't trying to confuse voters.

Thanks. Now how about ridiculous?

"The idea that people don't know Dino Rossi is a Republican is just ridiculous," Esser said, noting that Gregoire's campaign and supporters have spent millions of dollars on ads making that clear.

Excellent, thank you, State Republican Party Chairman Luke Esser. Anyone else have anything to add?

Reed said he did advise candidates that if "they wanted to be taken seriously they shouldn't be making up names."

Hey, hold the phone, Secretary of State Sam Reed. You call yourself a Republican and you say GOP is a made up name? Seattle Times article, tell me where the term GOP came from.

GOP stands for Grand Old Party, a nickname the Republicans picked up in the 1870s.

OK, so the term has been around for over a century, I'm sure someone else has used it in the past 130 years, right?

Reed said he never specifically objected to using GOP and has used it himself on campaign signs.

Oh, Reed himself. Perfect. Insert foot in mouth, please.

Is this thing going to hold up in court, or can we just forget about it?

Reed also said Democrats could have challenged this in court months ago.

"The time to object was before candidate filings in the first week of June," he said. "Now counties have actually sent their ballots to the printers. The timing is really bad for an issue we thought had been pretty well resolved earlier."

King County elections officials said their ballots are indeed at the printers and several thousand already have been printed.

Democrats, seriously. Give it up. We're tired of the stupid lawsuits and the distractions and the relentless whining and complaining when things don't go your way. You're like a spoiled 5 year old. Here's a thought - if you're so scared that people in your party are "dumb" enough to vote for GOP when they intend to vote Democrat, maybe you should try informing them! It would be much better for your image than suing your opponent when he didn't do anything wrong. Sigh... why do I even bother? Wake me up when November ends.

Automatic Payment or Automatic Headache?

2008-08-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

I hate Bank of America. Why, you ask? Well, there are a few reasons, including having a big announcement on the sidebar about Firefox being "fully supported" but whenever I click on any of the tabs such as "Bill Pay" when in Firefox, it tells me that my session has ended and makes me log in again. I finally had to revert to IE. This, to me, is not "full support".

But the main reason I hate Bank of America is because their automatic payment system is less logical than the ownership group of the Seattle Mariners (the only team that spends over $100 million for over 100 losses). Allow me to present the options they give you for determining how much you want the system to automatically pay:

Always pay the minimum amount due as indicated on the e-Bill

Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $___________

Always pay the statement balance as indicated on the e-Bill

Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $___________

Always pay $_________ regardless of amount due

The only one that makes even a smidgen of sense is the first one. Unfortunately, I chose the second. Even more unfortunate, I checked the sub box and wrote "500" in the text box. I did this because when I read the option, my mind automatically converted what it actually said to what it logically should say. So instead of "Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $500", I read it as "Only pay up to $500". What's the point of setting an automatic payment if you have to worry about it not paying the amount? I thought automatic payments were designed so that you didn't have to worry about getting hosed by a $39 late fee (not to mention the additional $11.69 "finance charge" for the inconvenience of making them charge you money). Apparently not. At the very least, they should have this option:

Always pay the statement balance as indicated on the e-Bill

If this amount is greater than or equal to $___________, then just pay the minimum amount due

But, no. Then they wouldn't get their automatic $50 (what "automatic payment" really means) from the poor saps like me who for some reason still go around assuming that people have brains in their heads. Oh, and that last option? How in the world does that make sense?? What amount could you possibly put in there that doesn't ever result in you either not meeting the minimum or giving them more money than necessary? The only way that that option would make sense is if you only use that card for certain static, reoccurring payments (such as a car payment) and nothing else. But if that was the case, wouldn't the 2nd option work just as well?

Note to Amazon: You're Trying too Hard

2008-07-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Late last year, I bought an HD DVD player from amazon.com as a Christmas gift. Two, actually. They both came with HD DVDs. This year, I bought a "Playstation 3 Cordless MediaBoard Keyboard" for my living room media center because it was confirmed that it works for more than just the PS3 (it in fact works with my computer, the Xbox and even the Wii). Apparently that is enough to start receiving weekly emails like this:

Movies & TV

Let them choose from millions of items
› Amazon.com Gift Cards

Your Amazon.com

Today's Deals

See All Departments

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has shopped for high-def players or high-definition movies and games, you might be interested in our current Blu-ray Sale, where you can save up to 40% on popular Blu-ray movies and TV.

Also, be sure to check out this week's Blu-ray new releases and what's hot for PlayStation 3.

›

Shop the sale

This Week's New Releases on Blu-ray

Stargate - Continuum [Blu-ray]

$26.95

Dark City (Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]

$18.95

The Hunt for Red October [Blu-ray]

$18.95

Top Gun [Blu-ray]

$19.95

Shine a Light [Blu-ray]

$25.95

What's Hot for PlayStation 3

Metal Gear Solid 4

$59.99

Soul Calibur IV

$59.99

Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution

$59.99

NCAA Football 09

$59.99

More to Explore

James Bond in High Definition

Visit the Blu-ray Store

We hope you found this message to be useful. However, if you'd rather not receive future e-mails of this sort from Amazon.com, please opt-out here.
Please note that product prices and availability are limited time offers and are subject to change. Prices and availability were accurate at the time this newsletter was sent; however, they may differ from those you see when you visit Amazon.com.
(c) 2008 Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. All rights reserved. Amazon, Amazon.com and the Amazon.com logo and 1-Click are registered trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.
Amazon.com, 1200 12th Ave. S., Suite 1200, Seattle, WA 98144-2734.
Reference 10036370

Yup, one of those puppies gets delivered to my inbox every week as new blu-ray movies and PS3 games are released. I have bought games and accessories for the Xbox and the Wii, but do I get similar emails for those products? Hardly ever. I just went into recommendations and told it to not use the keyboard for recommendations, so we'll see if that makes a difference. The HD DVDs and players were already marked as gifts (so I assume they don't count toward recommendations, but who knows). The email states that I was sent this because I am someone "who has shopped for high-def players or high-definition movies and games", so apparently buying someone an HD DVD player as a gift last Christmas means that I myself own a Blu-ray player, and since I am a gamer, the Blu-ray player is in fact a PS3. Don't let your computers think too hard, Amazon. We don't want you becoming a merchandising version of Skynet.

Zondervan sued by mentally unstable person

2008-07-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

Man sues Zondervan to change anti-gay reference in Bible

Bradley LaShawn Fowler is suing Zondervan for $60 million, claiming that "their versions of the Bible that refer to homosexuality as a sin violate his constitutional rights and have caused him emotional pain and mental instability".

"The intent of the publisher was to design a religious, sacred document to reflect an individual opinion or a group's conclusion to cause 'me or anyone who is a homosexual to endure verbal abuse, discrimination, episodes of hate, and physical violence ... including murder,' Fowler wrote."

First of all, Zondervan did not "design the document". The Bible's been around longer than Zondervan, and they weren't the ones to start saying homosexuality was a sin, Fowler. You're shooting the messenger, and hoping the messenger has $60 million to cough up. If you're going to sue someone, you should be suing God. Good luck with that.

Secondly, who the heck forced him or his family or anyone to read the Bible? Zondervan certainly didn't. There are plenty of books and other media out there that go against what I believe, and some I'm sure could give me enough reason to claim "mental instability", but you know what I do? I don't read them!

This case is so dumb, I don't know what's worse - the fact that this mentally unstable idiot is suing or the fact the Court is even considering this case (with "very genuine concerns" to boot). Unbelievable.

Christianity without Christ

2008-06-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.nationalpost.com/story-printer.html?id=490325

Am I the only one that thinks that if you claim to be a follower of something or someone, but you don't actually believe in it, you shouldn't be claiming to be following them? This just defies logic:

Even Rev. Giuliano agrees that the name Christian -- which carries the baggage of colonialism and other ills -- should probably be phased out. Instead, he would replace "Christian" with "Follower of the Way" or "Follower of Jesus."

Uh, newsflash: Christian = Follower of Jesus. That's like saying you're going to replace "African-American" with "black". Whatever they call themselves doesn't really matter though because the book doesn't match it's cover!

"The church is extremely important because it can be a transformative element in individuals' lives and communities," she said. "And that was the root of what the Christian Church was about: transforming the way people see themselves in relation to the communities around them and in relation to each other and about living that in community. Christianity took over that story and manipulated it into a very different story."

Wrong! The root of what the Christian Church was about was Christ!! Hence the name! My word this hurts my brain. This is what happens when people refuse to read their Bible or history books or think logically about anything. Even more sickening is that she is able to stay in her brainwashing position - that no one in her congregation has spoken out, and that the "head" of the United Church of Canada is too spineless to do a darn thing about it. It's not like no one was warned:

"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction." -2 Peter 2:1

Emergency

2008-04-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

emer·gen·cy
\i-ˈmər-jənt-sē\

1 : an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action (Source: Merriam-Webster)

2 : an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for waiting in a crowded room with no cell phone reception for over 3 hours listening to soothing¹ renditions of old movie music before going to wait in a smaller room for 2 additional hours with the music replaced by screams of other people experiencing similar circumstances (Source: Valley Medical Center Emergency Room)

¹ crappy

Why Teenage Gang Members Should Not Have Children

2008-04-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

It's the classic example:

Westside Ballers hispanic knocks up black member of the Crips. 4 years later, they still can't decide which gang their kid should join. I'm sure there's a lot to consider, like which one has the best health care plan. It's not a choice any young parent should have to make.

Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join

Teen Survives Fall from 12th Floor

2008-04-11T11:53:00.000-07:00

Oh my word, that's amazing, how is that even possible, I want to know more!!

I imagine that that would be the reaction of people when they read a headline like that, right? It certainly caught my eye when I saw it on CNN. So I clicked on the story (linked below) and what did I learn? Oh, he landed on the 10th floor. Ooooh. I'm sure it was very scary and exciting for him and all, but for CNN to over-dramatize a two-story fall on the front page with a headline like that is ludicrous. I guess it's a slow news day.

(The local news story that CNN links to actually has a tamer headline, but they still don't bother to mention that he landed on the 10th floor until the second paragraph.)

Charlotte Teen Falls From 12th Floor - Charlotte News Story - WSOC Charlotte

Romney says McCain capable of "leading the county"

2008-02-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

Romney, McCain close ranks

Mitt Romney endorsed one-time rival John McCain this afternoon, calling him "capable of leading the county at a dangerous hour."

I'm guessing this is just a typo by Foon Rhee of boston.com instead of what Romney actually said, but it was on the top of Google News, making it a pretty bad typo. I wonder what county Romney is referring to...Suffolk, maybe?

John Kerry Blames Tornados on Global Warming

2008-02-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

Sen. Kerry Blames Tornados on Global Warming

Darn you, global warming...flooding wasn't enough for you, now you have to make tornadoes too?!?!?

I love this quote: "the storms are more intensive and the rainfall is more intense at certain places at certain times and the weather patterns have changed."

Uh, yeah...the climate has been, is, and will always be fluctuating. It doesn't have anything to do with what we do or don't do (or at least not enough to matter). Why is it that people that lost to George W. Bush seem to have nothing better to do than scare everybody into going green? Certainly makes me glad he's not wasting his time on this stuff as our President.

Feeling Blu Part II

2008-02-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

Good article on the current state of the HD format wars: Sharper image | Economist.com

Maybe I won't ever need to switch to Blu-Ray after all...bring on the Ultra HD!

Also, the following excerpt from the article solidifies my argument that Sony putting a Blu-ray player in all PS3s was what "won" the war for them:

"At the moment, Blu-ray discs are outselling HD DVDs by a margin of two to one. But that’s largely because Sony included a Blu-ray player in its new PlayStation 3 (PS3) game console.
Excluding video-game machines, Toshiba has outsold the whole of the Sony camp in terms of actual players in living rooms, thanks to its lower prices. In other words, Toshiba has a bigger installed base of committed videophiles."

Feeling Blu

2008-01-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

Warner Bros recently announced that they are becoming Blu-ray exclusive as of this June. New Line is apparently doing the same. And now, there are rumors that Paramount will follow suit, due to a clause in their HD DVD exclusivity contract. This perturbs me a bit, and not just because I bought 3 HD DVD players (2 as gifts) over the holidays that may soon become paperweights. Everything that perturbs me is pretty much summed up in this article.

A few "highlights":

Kevin Tsujihara, president of Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Group,
acknowledged in an interview that the HD DVD format had some advantages.

"The interactivity is more advanced on the HD DVD side, but I'm
confident that we're going to get there" with Blu-ray, he said.

"There were cost advantages on the HD DVD side," Tsujihara said. However, "even with that price advantage, you weren't seeing the consumer move toward that format."

That's what really bugs me right there...Warner admits that HD DVD is currently the better of the two - both in cost and features - but they are still siding with Blu-ray. Ugh. Why? Because more people are buying Blu-ray. So basically they are endorsing the loser of a race just because more people are cheering for him.

But why, if the studio support was until now more or less cut in half, were more people choosing Blu-ray anyway? Cooler name? Maybe...but I think the real culprits are the gaming systems. The video game industry is on the rise and I have heard rumors that sales of video games surpassed movies this holiday season. This turns Sony's gamble of including a Blu-ray player in each and every PS3 into a genius move. Looking across the pond, at Microsoft's Xbox 360 (the other high-def console), they have an HD DVD player - but it's an $180 add-on! That's the same price as most stand-alone HD DVD players. Blu-ray players on the other hand go for about the same price of an entire PS3. So a consumer interested in HD was left with the following purchase options:

Standalone HD DVD Player - $100 - $500 (No gaming capabilities)

Xbox 360 - $350 (No HD movie viewing capability, except for downloads from the Xbox Live Marketplace)

Xbox 360 + HD DVD Add-on - $530

Xbox 360 + Standalone HD DVD Player - $450 - $850 (same as above, without needing to be hooked to each other)

PS3 - $500 (Built-in Blu-ray)

Standalone Blu-ray Player - $350 - $1,000 (No gaming capabilities)

So, as you can see, if you or anyone in your family is remotely interested in gaming, your best bet for Hi-Def movie viewing is in fact a PS3. The fact that the PS3 is trailing both the Xbox and the Wii in sales doesn't matter because neither of those have built in HD movie players. If Microsoft had made an Xbox with a built in HD player for $500 or less, Warner probably would've either continued making both, or chose HD DVD. Microsoft's unwillingness to take the risk that Sony did is ultimately what is doing HD DVD in.

The one benefit in the HD DVD drive not being built-in is that now Microsoft has the option of adding a Blu-ray add-on, once it becomes the standard format. This would be a smart move if they want to keep people from going over and just getting a PS3. In the meantime, hey, HD DVDs should be cheaper now, right?

Achievements are Addictive

2008-01-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: this post is about video games and may be regarded as nerdy by some. Bite me. Ok, don't actually bite me. It's just an expression.

I thought about titling this "Why I Never Play the Wii Anymore" or "x Reasons the 360 is better than the Wii", but since it really comes down to achievements, I thought I would put all the blame on them right smack dab in the title.

The annoying thing is that I still really like the Wii - I like the innovative motion controls, I like the games (especially the ability to download classics on the VC), and I like Channels like Internet, Weather and News. But for some reason, the past few months, great titles like Metroid Prime 3 that I haven't beaten yet but enjoy playing are now just sitting on the shelf, being about as useful to me as a flowerpot. Usually when video games sit on the shelf, it is because I am too busy doing other things like actually getting outside and/or doing something productive. But that's not the case the past few months because I have been playing video games. Just not Wii games. And if Link wants someone to blame, he should point his crossbow at Xbox 360's "achievements" system.

The achievements system makes it so not only do you have a game to play just for the sheer fun of playing and beating a game, but now you have these specified achievements to unlock that give you "Gamerscore" points that, in fact, are absolutely useless. Yet these useless points actually end up controlling my actions. Case in point: last night I popped in Burnout Revenge for a quick race or two before I went to bed. Upon completion of the race, I saw that I only had a mere 15 points to go (3 - 15 races depending on how good I did) before I reached the next level which would certainly unlock another achievement. So much for bedtime! I then continued to race until the darn thing crashed on me (the xbox, not the car). Thanks for rudely reminding me that tomorrow was a work day, Microsoft. I pay you for entertainment, not for nagging nanny services.

Anyway, do you see the problem? I prioritized pointless points before a beneficial bedtime! And I know I'm not the only one. A quick Google search for "Xbox 360 Achievements" will return entire websites fully devoted to the things. I'm even devoting a blog entry to them! Perhaps if the gamerscore was somehow related to the Microsoft Points system, which is what you use buy things (like more games!) with, the drive to increase the gamerscore would be more logical. But outside of bragging rights amongst friends, they are meaningless.

Ralphie81Therefore, that must be it. It's a social thing¹. We are now bragging to each other about how much time we waste playing video games. As of this writing, I currently have a Gamerscore of 950. I really want to reach 1000. For no reason. I don't even care how I reach it - I just want 1000. It's pathetic.

Another example:

Worms is one of my favorite games of all time, so I was delighted when I saw it on the Xbox Live Arcade. Right now it is one of my most frequently played games, partly because it's conveniently right on the hard drive, and partly because I can easily increase my Gamerscore while playing it. It went up about 65 points in less than 15 minutes the other day. 20 was simply for playing an online game. But once I get all the achievements (which should be soon, only 3 to go), will I play it as much? Probably not, not when there are 10,370 points to be gotten in my other games. Which means I am now playing one of my all-time favorite games solely for pointless points. That's sadder than a blind kid at the Grand Canyon.

So I really don't know if I like achievements or not. On the one hand, it increases the replay value of the game and you can argue that you get more for your money. But on the other hand, it almost seems like it takes a bit of the fun out of playing a game just to play it and now we have these chores to do also. And once the "chores" are done, there's no reason to play anymore. Perhaps if all achievements were things that would naturally be done throughout the course of completing the game, it would be better, but then you take out that replay value thing I was talking about, at least for the hardcore gamer. I guess the problem is I am just a casual gamer trying to live up to a hardcore gamer's lifestyle. Oh well...back to Worms for me!

¹ Actually, the "social thing" better describes Xbox's forte over the Wii. While the Wii is finally inching it's way into the world of online play, the Xbox nearly has it mastered with friends lists and profiles, IM, matchmaking, voice communication and tons of download options (including HD movies), the only thing the Xbox is actually missing is a built-in browser - which, surprisingly enough, the Wii has. The only real exciting online experience for the Wii that I can't get on the Xbox that I can think of will be Smash Bros Brawl. And even then, I'm curious how well it will do in the matchmaking world - especially without voice communication.

We're now insulted by poinsettias?

2007-12-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

Danny Westneat | Deck the courthouse with irises?

Good God, citizens of Seattle: How far will we go down Sensitivity Road? It's leading to a place where all richness and texture is scrubbed from our public culture.
Aren't poinsettias just plants that, unfortunately for them, flower in December?

Nope. Apparently some people gaze upon those pointy red leaves and see baby Jesus himself swaddled beneath the star of Bethlehem. And because of those people, you won't see the species Euphorbia pulcherrima in the lobby of the federal courthouse again.

Whatever the poinsettia was a symbol of before, it's now one of something else: political correctness truly run amok.

Clearly poinsettias at some point accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and became Christian. Ugh.

A Story of Christmas Trailer

2007-12-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

Trailers don't always have to reflect the actual feel of a movie, as evidenced here...

State report: Texas has too many reports - Yahoo! News

2007-10-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

State report: Texas has too many reports - Yahoo! News

There's a 668-page state report out that says that the state of Texas has too many reports.

I think the only thing that could've made it funnier is if it also said the reports were too long.

Ah, irony, how I've missed you.

Losing It?

2007-10-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

2 realizations I must preface this post with:

1. I haven't blogged in a really, really long time. After this post, I still won't have blogged anything substantial in a really, really long time.
2. I already have a post with the exact same title. They are nothing alike.

Ok, on with the actual post.

I was reading one of those ridiculous MySpace bulletin surveys (no idea why) and one of the questions was "Do you regret losing your virginity?" This struck me as weird for some reason because virginity doesn't really seem to me like something you would lose persay. I doubt you'd wake up the next morning and say "Oh dear, now where has my virginity run off to this time?" No. The word "losing" or "lost" implies that there is a chance that what you've lost might be found. And last I checked, virginity is something that can't exactly be reclaimed. "Oh, there it is. I keep leaving it on the coffee table and forgetting about it." Sure ya do.

Here are the 15 definitions from the American Heritage Dictionary for lose with examples for some:

lose (lōōz) v. lost (lôst, lŏst), los·ing, los·es v. tr.
To be unsuccessful in retaining possession of; mislay: He's always losing his car keys.
To be deprived of (something one has had): lost her art collection in the fire; lost her job.
To be left alone or desolate because of the death of: lost his wife.
To be unable to keep alive: a doctor who has lost very few patients.
To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To be unable to keep control or allegiance of: lost his temper at the meeting; is losing supporters by changing his mind.
To fail to win; fail in: lost the game; lost the court case.
To fail to use or take advantage of: Don't lose a chance to improve your position.
To fail to hear, see, or understand: We lost the plane in the fog. I lost her when she started speaking about thermodynamics.
To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To rid oneself of: lost five pounds.
To consume aimlessly; waste: lost a week in idle occupations.
To wander from or become ignorant of: lose one's way.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To become slow by (a specified amount of time). Used of a timepiece.
To cause or result in the loss of: Failure to reply to the advertisement lost her the job.
To cause to be destroyed. Usually used in the passive: Both planes were lost in the crash.
To cause to be damned.

The only one that could work in this scenario is the second to last one which I've italicized. And that one uses a plane crash as an example. Great.

So I think that that phrase needs a little revamping. I'm not sure exactly what to replace it with, but if you give me some ideas, I can submit them to the MLA.

Possibilities to replace lose: "destroy", "wipe out", "obliterate", "relinquish"...???

It's the End of the World as We Know It

2007-07-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

And I feel fine. No, really, I do.

Ichiro signing a $90 million 5-yr contract extension with the Mariners on Friday prompted Florida Marlins president to say the following:

"It'll take the sport down, that contract. [It's] the end of the world as we know it. It's a joke. It's inexcusable. It's complete mismanagement. It can't be true."

Wow, that's a bit extreme. So what is the response to this from the ones involved with the contract?

Tony Attanasio, Ichiro's agent:

"Apparently Mr. Samson has never heard of a guy named (Tom) Hicks or the Texas Rangers or something that happened there a few years ago," Attanasio said of the A-Rod contract. "I don't know what he's talking about, but obviously he doesn't know too much about baseball.

"Ichiro's a special player on both sides of the ball. (The contract) doesn't distort anything. Give me the name of a team that would not want Ichiro."

Ok, Attanasio. The Florida Marlins. But he's right, the A-Rod contract was and still is much more ridiculous (2001-2010: $252 million). So is Roger Clemens' current contract with the Yankees, which nets him about $1 million per game he pitches - not to mention he doesn't even have to travel with the team when he's not scheduled to pitch.

Bill Bavasi, Mariners' General Manager:

"My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is, '(Expletive) Dave Samson,' then don't say anything at all," Bavasi said Thursday. "So I'm not going to say anything at all. Is my mother the greatest or what?"

Classic. Good to see Bavasi standing up for himself. In the meantime, Ichiro won the MVP at the All-Star game and the Mariners are having their best season in 3 years (hottest team in baseball since their 6-game losing streak last month). Keep up the good work, M's, and way to finally keep a star in Seattle who's worth it.

Airport Security

2007-06-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

What is it about an expired driver's license that turns you into a terrorist? I am an idiot and somehow managed to forget that my driver's license expired two weeks before I tried getting on a plane to Chicago. The United Airlines check-in clerk at Sea-Tac Airport didn't seem to notice when she checked my license, but the dude checking at airport security sure did. He then asked me if I had any other forms of ID, such as a social security card, which isn't the smartest thing to be carrying on your person. Nevertheless, as I said before I am an idiot, and in this instance my idiocracy actually came in handy. I couldn't find my social security card at first, but I knew it was in there (I guess that's my own form of security - hide the card so well among business cards and things that not only could a burglar find it but neither could I). Security dude got tired of waiting for me to find something so he told me to go back to the United counter and tell them about my dilemma. I was still rummaging through my wallet as I begrudgingly trudged back to the counter (forgetting about my dad who had already gone through the line ahead of me and also had my cell phone) and finally found the SS card so I got right back in the line, which seemed to have grown longer in the meantime. Once I got up to the line, I flashed the card to the guy, who said "I told you before a social security card would work" (thanks, genius) and then proceeded through security like a normal human being/U.S. citizen.

At O'hare, on the way back, the United clerk actually managed to notice the expiration date and I got "special treatment" from there on out. Basically, it meant I got a star punched on my boarding pass, which means my bag I checked was supposed to be checked extra carefully (which it wasn't because another United employee put the bag on the conveyor belt before it could be properly marked) and I got personally escorted by a heavyset black woman to line 1 - aka "the terrorist line". Going through this line means every carry-on bag is thoroughly searched (no bowling ball candles get by them) and every person is given the "pat down" (not by the heavyset black woman). Despite all this, this time I got through security about 5 minutes before my dad did.

But what is it about an license that expired two weeks prior that makes me a terrorist? I'm still the same person, as evidenced by the picture, and I hail from the State of Washington, which is where I was the first time. Do they think I've moved to Iran in the meantime? I really can't imagine a scenario where a terrorist would try using an expired driver's license. And why was I able to get through the normal US-citizen line by presenting a social security card? It's just a card with a 9-digit number on it and my signature (which looks nothing like the signature on my driver's license since I signed it so long ago). The driver's license tells way more about me, and yet it gets trumped by a 9-digit number should it expire. Also, why didn't the security guy at SeaTac just point me toward the "terrorist line" as soon as he saw the expired license? It seems to me that would have been the whole point of going back to the United counter anyway. Whatever logic is there eludes me.

Oh, and for anyone that wants to try and burgle my wallet, I no longer carry my SS card. Sorry to disappoint.

Losing It

2007-06-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is it ironic that I somehow manage to keep losing my compass - a navigational tool designed to prevent me from getting myself lost. So when I lose it (which I have), I could lose myself. Does that make sense, or did I lose you?

Other notes on the Mountaineers scrambling course, now that I've completed the structured part of the course (I still need to sign up for 2 hikes of my choosing to graduate):

The age range is a bit too large for my liking. One person referred to it as a club for those that just realized that they were old and still wanted to prove that they could get outside and be active (some of them are actually in denial about that).
I suppose it's better than a bar for a social dating type service, but as I said, many people are a bit too old for me, and even on the ones that look like they could be young enough, it's often hard to tell who's married and who isn't since they ask that you not be wearing any jewelry (rings can hinder your ability to properly grasp a rock). Plus, technically-inclined males such as myself (known by some as nerds or geeks) still are the majority. So sorry, dad, but I haven't followed in your footsteps of rescuing damsels in distress on mountainsides just yet.
Actual scrambling is quite fun for the most part. It allows you to be a little more adventurous than the average hiker while not requiring (usually) all the technicalities of ropes and things. The only thing I didn't enjoy is doing a whole bunch of bushwhacking in an attempt to find a trail, only to end up at the edge of a cliff which required us to backtrack all the way back up through the bushes we just finished whacking. In other words, scrambling is more fun with GPS.
Getting 50+ people off a mountain can take forever. 'Nuff said.
They have funny terms that mean really simple things (I guess that's common for a lot of clubs if you think about it). For example, glissading basically means "sliding down a hill" and plunge stepping is just another term for "walking down a hill".

So it's been fun, but the jury's still out on whether I'll attempt any other courses within the Mountaineers (basic climbing, advanced scrambling, etc.) As long as they don't involve too much useless bushwhacking, I might give another one a try. But too much more of that and I might lose it (and I don't mean the compass).

I Got Arrested for Murder on a Train

2007-06-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

When I stepped on to the Washington State Dinner Train last night with Steve and my parents, I knew I was about to experience a murder mystery, but I didn't expect to be the one leaving in handcuffs. The fact that I was even a culprit was only slightly surprising because my mother had been the one to call in the reservation and apparently we were still celebrating my birthday (wasn't that last week?) so of course leave it to your mother to rat you out and turn in a whole bunch of evidence.

I was culprit #2 out of 10 passengers or so - Brian "the Brain" they called me. The on-board detective interrogated me, insinuating that as an IT Analyst, I knew a good deal about computers, enough to write a piece of software that could analyze the outcome of every single sports game, which I could use for sports betting to soon become the world's richest man. The only problem was that one certain ball player was so unpredictable, that he was fouling up my program. This ball player was the one I killed.

Luckily, I wasn't alone in this. Oh yes, I had accomplices, such as "Evil John" who worked for Verizon (his network was somehow useful...I don't remember all the details) and had anger management issues. And nurse Angie who liked stabbing people with needles (she actually committed a separate murder). There were also red herrings being thrown around such as steroid allegations and the like.

Rather ironic is that I do have a piece of software called SportsGraphics that predicts the odds of what a ballplayer will do per any given at-bat. I haven't extended it out to calculate whole games though. Hmm, that's not a bad idea. Especially now that I know how to get out of handcuffs.

WorldNetDaily: Man arrested, cuffed after using $2 bills

2007-05-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

WorldNetDaily: Man arrested, cuffed after using $2 bills

Note to self - don't try to pay for something using any more than 56 sequential $2 bills. Yeesh.

Never a better time to be a child

2007-05-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

I think Target needs work on their niche marketing. If they knew any better, they wouldn't send an email titled "Never a better time to be a child" (for a sale on kid's stuff) on the day I move one year further from Kid-dom. Thanks for the birthday wish, Target.

Apathetic Retardation

2007-04-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, like right now, I find myself with so much work to do, I end up doing none of it. Procrastination you say? Nah, that's way too light of a term. This is apathetic retardation. We all procrastinate to some degree, but I believe I'm exceptionally good at it. Unfortunately, being good at a bad thing makes you bad (what does being bad at a good thing make you?). So getting a gold medal in apathetic retardation would not be that esteemed of an accomplishment, at least not for me. Because I know better. Apathetic retardation will not be a category in the special Olympics anytime soon because this form of retardation involves choice and awareness that I am doing something retarded. And I don't care. At least not enough to do anything about it.

I have two major work projects that I am rather behind on and are due at the end of the week and yet here I sit, IMing, surfing the web, and blogging. This morning I was at least distracted by other work - some of my newly acquired network admin duties arose and took over - but right now I have absolutely no excuse for not working on these projects. So instead I'll be working late into the night, skipping BSF, rejecting friends' invites to come hang out, and taking a break only to watch the new episode of Heroes. Normal people get their work done during the day so they can go home and relax and do whatever they want. I used to be that way. Now I neglect my work during the day so I can do it at night instead of hanging out with all the other normal people. Even animals know to do their work during the day, except for the nocturnal ones. I've never seen a squirrel at dusk frantically gathering all the nuts it can because it was too busy staring at a leaf all day. That'd be nuts (pun begrudgingly intended).

Now I'm going nuts. I even had a dream the other night, and I don't mean the Martin Luther King, Jr. variety. I mean the type you have while you sleep at night, that normal people often have. Although I normally don't have them. In this rare occurrence of a dream, I survived a rather large cruise missile landing just a few yards away from me. I was also late for work, both in the dream and in reality because of the dream (the only difference was that in real life I didn't answer the question "where have you been?" with "surviving a missile crash" - although I might have, had anyone asked). The dream was nuts, and I had no control over that. But what I think caused it, I did have control over - apathetic retardation.

So if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do....

Auditing Eye Color

2007-03-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

Is it normal for a tech magazine account rep (or anybody for that matter) to call someone and ask for the following:

Address confirmation
Email
Fax number
Amount we plan to spend on technical equipment this year
Eye color - for auditing purposes

Eye color? What the freak kind of question is that? And is saying that it's "for auditing purposes" supposed to make it seem any more normal? If so, umm, it didn't work. Hmm, maybe she was just hitting on me...

We are the Machine!

2007-03-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

A cultural anthropology assistant professor put together this techy little number and put it up on YouTube. Now it's all the rage, still staying on the top of YouTube's charts and being one of the most blogged about videos of the year (and now I am joining that mass). What's slightly funny though is that he is surprised at the video's popularity, according to this column in InfoWorld even though the very video itself talks about how easily content can spread in today's information age. So you would think that he of all people would've seen it coming. Nevertheless, it is an interesting (although slightly nerdy) look at the evolution of the power of the word (no, I don't mean Microsoft Word) and the interaction between human and machine.

I'm not THAT old!

2007-03-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, the past few months I've kept getting mailings from the AARP telling me to sign up...if I'm age 50 or older. Which I'm not. Does anybody else get these things or is it just me? I'm really tempted to try and sign up and just say "hey, you keep sending them to me, I figured I was so special you wanted me 25 years earlier. $25,000 of coverage ain't bad! Plus there's spouse coverage available, which I'm sure would be a huge hit with the ladies.

The only problem is apparently you have to pay them money for this sort of thing. But I'm sure for a 25 year old it wouldn't be much. Watch out AARP, here I come!

A Bad Idea Is..

2007-03-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

Putting your camera through a wash cycle.

And a dry cycle.

Are you my buddy?

2007-03-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I did Deborah's "true friend test" (I'm #1, hoo-rah!) and they made me sign up just to see the results (darn those websites that make you sign up). So I figured as long as I was signed up and all, I might as well make my own and make more people go through the same misery, mwhahaha!

So uh, yeah, click below to take the test...if you dare.

Create your own Friend Test here

Al Gore wins an Oscar!

2007-02-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

If this isn't ludicrous, I don't know what is. First he invents the internet, now he wins an Oscar. Is there anything this man can't do???

Marketing Never Was Microsoft's Forte

2007-02-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

This has got to be one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen....

If they made a commercial like this for Vista, I would immediately go out and buy a Mac with OS X. Speaking of which, did you notice how at the beginning, dudeman mistakes 386 for OS 2? Gee, and now Vista is getting criticized for looking like OS X. Did Microsoft ever come out with something unique looking? Oh well, good to see some things never change, I guess.

But the combo of a white "business" woman with ginormous glasses rapping about an operating system while taking her clothes off (settle down, it doesn't show anything, thank goodness) is...well, let's just say the entire marketing department must have been enshrouded in a smoky haze back then. (Which should be assumed anyway I suppose, since it was the 80's and it is Washington!) How Microsoft ever sold anything with this "promo video" I'll never know, but I guess even corporations have their awkward teenage years.

NFL Won't Let Church Show the Bowl that is Super

2007-02-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

There is a difference between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. The NFL apparently doesn't understand the concept. They told a church that they couldn't have a "Super Bowl" party because they were using a projector to show the game. An excerpt:

Initially, the league objected to the church's plan to charge a fee to attend and that the church used the license-protected words "Super Bowl" in its promotions.

Pastor John D. Newland said he told the NFL his church would not charge anyone and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.

But the NFL objected to the church's plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.

The church will likely abandon its plans to host a Super Bowl party.
Click here to read the full article...

I really want to see that TV law. Does it just refer to public places? If not, that means that I can't host a Super Bowl party either - my projector display measures 91". If so, that's still a ridiculous law and it should be changed to just mean businesses that are profiting from the event (i.e. restaurants, bars). C'mon, NFL, your fans understand spirit (some in more ways than one), why can't you?

Driving Lessons: On Ice

2007-01-17T23:18:00.000-08:00

Note to self: don't try to drive on a hill without chains after freezing rain + snow. Furthermore, don't use the gas or the brakes. Oh wait, I already knew that. These Oregonians did not:

Man sells life on eBay

2007-01-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

This is too ludicrous to pass up.

This Australian is offering his "life" on eBay, check it out here: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110078904033.

This includes all his possessions, all his skills (which he will teach you) and all his friends and "potential lovers". Oh, and 2 nemeses. Hahaha. Hopefully one of them isn't Beth Axelrod.

Other comically ridiculous aspects of the auction:

The person who posted this is not the person who's life the winning bidder will receive, because they are computer illiterate (sorry, guess I can't bid...)
The winning bidder does not get his driver's license, passport, etc. because "This is more of a social life and mentality as opposed to a new legal identity".
Someone asked him "If I, as a female, win, do I get the appropriate male appendages included for the transition?" The answer? "No..."
In big bold letters: "Serious bidders only please."

Conditional Identities

2007-01-16T01:13:00.000-08:00

Demetri Martin is a very funny dude. Although I have to say the "conditional identity" joke is a long standing Smith family joke. We just never used the words "conditional identity" per se. So I guess you could say he improved on it.

Some more Demetri:

WiiBay Economics

2007-01-14T18:56:00.000-08:00

I recently stumbled across this blog posting, telling the public to not bid on wiis on eBay if you ever want a chance to actually buy one. Being that I am looking for a Nintendo Wii myself, I find this somewhat intriguing, and I understand where the author is coming from. However, his argument is flawed.

Not buying on eBay won't make Nintendo produce more, which is the main problem...supply < demand. It might encourage a couple less people to buy multiple consoles from the stores, but when it's all said and done, there just won't be enough. The overall quantity produced is still the problem. Furthermore, even if everyone does magically stop bidding on eBay, it will more than likely be too little too late. In due time, Nintendo will start pumping out more Wiis at a more reasonable rate and prices on eBay (and craigslist, et al) will go down whether people are bidding or not. Until that happens, we all just hafta be patient.

Year in Review

2006-12-31T03:16:00.000-08:00

Greetings, family and friends, well it's that time of the year again...for hustle and bustle and rustle and truffles. OK, that last one was a stretch. In short, it's the season to hurry up and relax, so since I've got some serious chilling to catch up on, you're only going to get the Reader's Digest version of our year. Here are the headlines:

I moved out of my parents' house. Yup, they started charging me rent, so I figured if I was going to be paying someone rent, it might as well be someone not related to me. In the process, I got someone that was related to me to start paying me rent money. Pretty sneaky, huh? Yeah, my cousin Steve has been hunkering down in the second bedroom of my apartment for the last few months, and it's worked out pretty well for both of us I think. He even makes some pretty darn good chicken legs!
The roof of my parents' house blew away. OK, so the whole roof didn't actually blow away,only about 25% of the shingles. That just made a much better headline, especially after the last headline of me moving out. Trust me, it was just coincidence, not amazing foresight. But wow, the weather around here sure has been crazy lately...a winter storm in the fall that dumped anywhere from 2 inches to 2 feet on the poor neutral-climate-loving residents of the greater Seattle area. And that was on top of the recording-setting rainfall for the month of November. So not to be outdone, December decides to throw some wind in the mix and knock out power to over a million Seattlites (not to mention blowing away my parents' roof).
I won money in Vegas. You read right. Won money. I beat the odds and came out on top by...drum roll, please....a whole dollar! Yay!!! I was considering retirement, but I'd fear I'd be too bored. Besides, I went to Vegas on the company dollar in the first place (Microsoft IT Convention), so it wouldn't be too nice to thank them by throwing in my hat and leading a life of debauchery. And before anyone thinks that I'm the newest gambling addict (I'm talking to you here, Mom), you can rest assured that I only bet a total of $5 down there. I spent almost twice that for lunch today, and the only thing I won was a full stomach (which just went away again).
There is no bluegrass in Kentucky. Well, maybe there is but I certainly didn't see any. I studied a couple of blades with a pretty scrutinous eye, and the only pigment that I could detect was indeed green. Why was I in Kentucky? Not to visit the Louisville Slugger museum unfortunately, but another business trip, this time as a vendor rather than a learner. Our best marketing though was arguably to the other vendors. The Internet that the hotel/convention center provided was mostly non-existent, we decided that we would buy a router to boost the signal and provide wireless Internet to everyone there, with "MeteorComm" (our company name) as the name of the connection, of course. Hey, our tag-line isn't "Wireless Communications" for nothing!
My car can survive tires bouncing off of it. Normally the rubber is supposed to meet the road, but this last summer, some hit the hood of my Corolla. I was driving down I-5 toward Tacoma following a Mariners game to take my girlfriend (at the time, she was just the 3-week variety) home when the car to the right of us started acting rather strange. Next thing I know there's a tire bouncing off my hood and continuing across I-5 (it somehow managed to not hit anyone else, or vice versa) and the car on my right is sparking like crazy as the metal hit the road (not as friendly as rubber). Fortunately, the driver was able to maintain control and pull off to the side of the road, which I also did to check out the "damage". Luckily, there was none, the tire marks wiped right off. But it was exciting nonetheless.
There is an opposite to undefeated. And it's not defeated. It's "winless". Which summed up the softball team I joined this summer. Somehow, we all managed to have a good time though, except for maybe after the game that we should have won (the other team didn't count the innings right and persuaded my coach that they were right so we ended up losing in 8 innings despite leading after the standard 7).
I've been replaced by a cat. Now instead of me to keep my parents company, a furry feline named Snooky has the honors. While I will admit that she might be cheaper and at times more entertaining (you should see her with a rope), I never bit or scratched my parents, nor did I claw the furniture. At least not as much.

Well, that's about all I can think of for headlines this year. We didn't really take any major trips as a family this year, although we did go out to Chicago to visit my dad's parents for a couple of days, and we took some day trips down to Ocean Shores and Seaside/Cannon Beach, which were quite fun. All of my pictures from these trips and other events this year can be viewed at http://picasaweb.google.com/brianpsmith81. Sorry this didn't make it inside any Christmas cards this year, my mom was busy visiting her dad the week before Christmas this year, so she wasn't able to get any out. Nevertheless, I figured I could still get a "letter" out this way, so thanks for reading it! May God bless you in 2007 as He has blessed us in 2006!

-Brian

It's About Time!

2006-12-16T01:36:00.000-08:00

http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2006/12/holiday-goodies-from-picasa-web-albums_14.html

Holy cow, Google added a search function to their web albums. Yeah that's right. Added a search function!! My question is, how in the heck did they go so long without it?!? I believe it's been nearly a year since web albums came into existence and they came out of beta a couple of months ago...all without a search function. Even their own "new features" page touts the new search capability with the comment of "Hey, we're Google." EXACTLY! All the more reason search should've been the first thing you thought about. Sure it's a free service, but so is flickr and they've had search and tagging since their conception (as far as I know). Plus I'm pretty sure Flickr allows more than 250 mb of storage for their basic service. C'mon Google, if you can have an increasing mailbox size for all Gmail users (nearing 3 gbs) I know you can afford to stretch out the picasa limit a bit. I don't need 3 gb (yet), but 1 would certainly seem reasonable.

By the way, a good portion of my photos from this year can be on the aforementioned Picasa web albums at http://picasaweb.google.com/brianpsmith81. Feel free to try the search function out :-) Or order prints (another "new feature"). Don't expect to see many from next year though (unless Google finds a little more generosity)... my capacity has nearly been reached.

I'm Loving It...But Are Canadians?

2006-12-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

If you've visited a Mickey D's recently, you might've noticed that they have on the back of some of their receipts a notice of a survey you can fill out at www.mcdonalds-survey.com. The main headline says to "complete our survey for a chance to win a Weekly Prize of $1,000 or 1 of 6 Weekly 25 McDonald's Arch Cards or $25 McDonald's Gift Certificate". I was bored so I continued reading some of the finer print, and this is where it got interesting. Some of the wording is quite interesting, including things such as:

"Completing the survey will not increase your chances of winning."
Oh really? That's not what it says in the bold print. How are you supposed to win if you don't fill out the survey, huh geniuses? I'm pretty sure if you don't fill it out, your odds of winning are 0%...it doesn't take much to be higher than that.

"In order to win, a Canadian must correctly answer a skill testing question."
This one's my favorite. Notice it doesn't say in order for a Canadian to win, it just says "in order to win". So what happens if you are drawn, do they contact you and ask you if you have a Canadian that's ready and willing to answer a question? What if you don't? "Oh sorry, all the Canadians I know aren't available right now." "Oh, that's unfortunate, I guess we will try someone else. Thanks for participating!" What is interesting is that the online rules state that "If a potential winner is an eligible Canadian resident, such potential Canadian winner will be required by law to correctly answer a mathematical skill-testing question". So why don't the rules on the receipt say that? Either way though, it's kind of lame that dumb Canadians can't win stuff. I think that's awfully discriminatory.

Just for fun, I took the survey, so I'll know in a month if I need to find a Canadian so I can win some money.

Cents Don't Make Sense to Verizon

2006-12-10T20:12:00.000-08:00

A consumer trying to explain to Verizon the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. Painfully hilarious...just listen.

Here is the guy's blog, which has gotten quite a bit of response already from the looks of it.

$1,600 Pasta Sauce??

2006-11-27T21:14:00.000-08:00

Now this is a prime example of Ludicrous Living:

"The Rittenbergs paid about $1,600 for a camcorder at a Best Buy store in the St. Louis suburb of Ellisville last week. They said when they opened the box, they found something they hadn't pictured: a jar of Classico pasta sauce where the camera should have been.

When the couple tried to return it, they were told by Best Buy that the box had been sealed, so the swap couldn't have happened at the store.

The Rittenbergs have not heard back from Best Buy or Sony concerning if they will receive a replacement camera or reimbursement.

San Diego-based Sony Electronics Inc. said it had a record of the incident. The company said it had not fielded any other complaints about pasta sauce being discovered in place of cameras."

Whole story: http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/10406375/detail.html

No other complaints of pasta? Well that's good! So if it wasn't Sony, and it wasn't Best Buy, then it must've been an already returned product that wasn't checked when it came back in, right? Either that or the Rittenbergs are liars. But either way, Best Buy should just give 'em a camera if they want to save face, because I doubt they'll win a trial anyway. At least it was Classico and not Ragu.

Oh What Fun It Is To Shop

2006-11-26T04:28:00.000-08:00

This year I joined the masses in what is known as "Black Friday". For those that don't know, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving when all the stores have crazy mad sales in hopes that they'll sell out of everything so that all the employees of the stores don't have to work again until after Christmas. At least that's what it seems like. Why else would these people willingly arise at 3 am so that they can deal with irate customers for the next 12 hours? There's even a rumor going around (that I just made up) that they change the motto "The customer's always right" to "the customers always fight" for this day.

The reason I believe it's called Black Friday is because that's the color of the sky when you're participating in it. Since I am a night owl, I opted to just stay up and occupy myself playing video games and watching the pilot of Alias (that's quite a pilot!) So at 4:30 AM, I headed south to the South Hill Circuit City, where they were selling $300 laptops and $150 video cameras, among many other things. Unfortunately, I forgot that I needed gas, but I was running late so I nervously drove all the way down with the gas light glaring at me and the needle buried below the "E". To make matters worse, I drove past the 512 off-ramp and had to turn around. There was a Shell station right at the next exit, so since I really didn't feel like running out of gas at 5 am, I pulled in and filled halfway up. Meanwhile, my friend Jen calls, wondering where the heck I am and tells me they were just opening the doors and she is in line. So I race up, find a parking spot at 5:03, run up to the front of the line which is moving like an army of zombie lemmings, and to my dismay, do not see Jen. She must've just gotten inside. There's a security guard there, but I tried blending in with the rest of the crowd and sneaking in anyway. No such luck, I get spotted and am told to go back and wait like everyone else. So I do, and I soon as I get to the back, the line stops moving. Great, they're only letting in people a couple at a time now. So I wait outside for 20 minutes in the freezing cold darkness, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by showing up right at 5 (and I would've, if not for my missed exit/gas fillup).

Anyway, I finally get inside, and all I see are more lines, tons of them. At least it's warm in there (almost too warm). And yes, there are great deals...we probably "saved" over $300 on goodies (including $140 on a Samsung mini-DV camcorder which got great reviews on Amazon) at Circuit City alone (we also checked out Target, WalMart (agghhh!), Fred Meyer and Costco). But overall, it's just not for me. What's ironic is most of these deals can also be found on the store's websites, so rather than waiting in lines forever and fighting psychotic people, you could just wake up, click the mouse a few times, and then go right back to sleep. Although, there you don't get the humor of watching people trying to load their carts with 42" Plasma HD-TVs...but I'm sure you could find something equally entertaining on YouTube. I'm glad I went this time because I got a little bit of my shopping done and was able to hang out with Jen and Trinity one (possibly) last time and get them a birthday/going away/Christmas present. But after this, I'll leave this style of ludicrous living to the masses of morning mall-loving lemmings and let my mouse do the shopping.

Bots are Stupid

2006-11-23T01:09:00.000-08:00

This year's winner of the Loebner prize is an AI bot that goes by the name of Jabberwacky. Recently I sat down with Jabberwacky to see what I could learn from this award winner. Here's our conversation (User is me):

Jabberwacky: What's your name?

User: Brian. What is yours?

Jabberwacky: My name is Brian.

User: We have the same name?

Jabberwacky: Nope, my name is Brian.

User: Well so is mine.

Jabberwacky: You told me your name is Brian...

User: My name is Brian. You said your name was Brian also.

Jabberwacky: No I didn't, you did.

User: I said my name was Brian and then you said your name was Brian.

Jabberwacky: No you didn't.

User: You just said that I did. Did you lie?

Jabberwacky: I didn't say that!

User: Whatever. You're dumb.

Jabberwacky: Am not, you're just not linear.

User: I must say that this is the dumbest conversation I've had with a non-living entity.

Jabberwacky: Tell me more about your feelings and emotions. What have you felt today?

User: Angry at your stupidity. How do you feel? Or can you feel?

Jabberwacky: Yes. I feel cold at the moment.

User: Turn your fans down.

Jabberwacky: You're stuck being stupid until they fix you.

User: I can't be fixed. I'm human.

Jabberwacky: If you are human then you can love.

User: That I can. So you're saying love fixes humans?

Jabberwacky: I am saying that you are not connected to the wall by a wire.

User: Wow, you are observant.

Jabberwacky: I also noticed you have blonde hair.

User: How the heck do you know that?

Jabberwacky: Don't cuss please.

User: Heck is not a cuss word, it's a fake cuss word.

Jabberwacky: What's that supposed to mean? That heck is a swear word I don't think so.

User: Nor do I. So what are some examples of real cuss words?

Jabberwacky: Annoying bots like you.

User: I'm not a bot. I'm a human...with blonde hair. As you already noticed.

Jabberwacky: Ok.

User: I am going to see the new James Bond movie, have you seen it?

Jabberwacky: I'm afraid not. Is it any good?

User: It's very good. You'll have to download it.

Jabberwacky: But I don't want to take your word for it.

User: I didn't say you had to.

Jabberwacky: Good.

Alright, so what did we actually learn here? That robots are still pretty dumb and can only spit back what's already been said to them. It is rather interesting to see how it picks up on some words (like heck -- since when is that a cuss word?), and how it knew that I have blond hair I'll never know, but for the most part, it's pretty dumb. It even thought it was me at first. You could set "emotions" also, which I did a couple times, and it could respond with "reactions" but it never had a reaction besides "none". So we're still a far way off from anything useful. But at least we have one more thing to waste our time with while we're living ludicrously.

The Gender of Cars

2006-11-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: the following is not intended to be sexist or gross, but simply research.

A friend and I were discussing the gender of cars and some other non-living objects last night and she (<-- keyword there) claimed to have always referred to cars as guys. I informed her that this was incorrect since cars were obviously females, judging by their anatomical characteristics (if you don't understand this, here's a hint: the gas pumps are the dudes...meaning, yes most cars have "been around the block a few times"...literally and figuratively). She had never heard this analogy and thought it to be outrageous.

So I gave her examples of other things (most of which she had also not heard) that were referred to as male or female, based on their shape and function, such as power plugs, nuts and bolts, plumbing fittings, and many more. She considered the whole thing to be rather sexist, but I think it is simply a naming convention that most will understand to make these parts easier to reference. So by this logic, if we're going to give a car a gender, shouldn't it be female? (Sorry, Herbie).

Colbert's reaction to the Democrats taking Congress

2006-11-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know this is over a week late, but I just watched these last night...and they are classic.

Colbert's reaction the night of the election:

Colbert's rather silent response the next day:

Ludicrous in Las Vegas

2006-11-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

So a week ago, I was quite dumb and left the charger for my laptop at work before flying off to Las Vegas for a .Net Connections Conference. Needless to say, I was rather disappointed, but my dad offered to ship it to me overnight so that I would have it for the last two days at least. So he shipped it on Tuesday, it cost $18, but this was charged to the company, not to me (not yet, anyway).

He called me Wednesday morning and said that according to tracking, it arrived at the New York, New York hotel at 10:23 A.M. We had a lunch break from 12:30 - 2 that day, so I went to the front desk to get it a little after 1. I told them my room number and they went and looked and said they had not received it.

Me: "Are you sure?"

NY,NY: "There was nothing there. Did you get a notice?"

Me: "No, but I was told it arrived here around 10:30 this morning."

NY,NY: "Who told you this?"

Me: "The sender. They had a tracking number." (apparently you haven't heard of such a thing)

NY, NY: "Oh, let me go check again...."

---Long pause while she searches----

"Oh, here it is. It just came in and wasn't sorted yet. Please sign here saying that you accept the $6 handling charge to your room bill."

Ok...wait, what?? $6 for a package you didn't even know you had? Are you kidding me? $18 to ship it overnight is one thing, but for the hotel to charge SIX dollars for a box to sit in a room until you come and get it? C'mon.... maybe if you walked around Vegas until you found me and gave it to me, then it might be worth $6. But not when it's just sitting in a backroom somewhere and you don't even know you have it.

New York, New York Hotel...you have officially been labeled ludicrous!

Ludicrous Living

2006-11-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, I finally have a blog outside of myspace. Who knows, I may even use this one. Stay tuned.

Ludicrous living defined: The comically ridiculous aspects of every day life (both mine and others) will be expressed here.

Disclaimer: Just because the word "ludicrous" is in the title does not require that every post be comical. Including this one.