Why the U.S. Military Doesn’t Train on XBoxes

Alright, my unplanned, unintentional hiatus from my blog has lasted long enough. This is just too ludicrous to not post. A recent article on wired.com explains why the U.S. military uses computers rather than Xboxes (or is it Xboxen?), even though the latter is cheaper and much easier to configure. Here's one of the three reasons Microsoft gave to Roger Smith, chief technology officer for PEO STRI, the Army command responsible for purchasing training equipment:

"if the Xbox became an Army training device, it would taint its reputation. Microsoft was concerned that “do we want the Xbox 360 to be seen as having the flavor of a weapon? Do we want Mom and Dad knowing that their kid is buying the same game console as the military trains the SEALs and Rangers on?”

Really, Microsoft? Well you better not tell "Mom and Dad" that that PC that the whole family uses currently possesses the "flavor of a weapon" because maybe they'll stop buying those, too. (Also, why is the kid buying the game console and not the supposedly concerned parents?) True, it's quite unlikely that the PC at their house has the same training software on it that the military does, but Microsoft wouldn't have to make the Xbox game(s) that the military would use available to the general public either. It's not even the game itself that they're apparently worried about, it's the game console. I'm sure there are a number of people out there that would refuse to have an Xbox in their house knowing that the U.S. military trains on them, I just don't think that that number is greater than the number of consoles Microsoft would sell to the military.

Oddly enough, another concern that Microsoft listed is that they couldn't handle the workload of producing Xbox 360s for both the military and the general public. Seems to me that these complaints cancel each other out. If you think manufacturing for the military will cause civilians to no longer want your product, then production won't have to worry about a double workload.

360s for the military seems like a win-win situation. Microsoft gets more money (if they're that concerned about a "shortage of Xbox 360s", don't they have the means to expand production?), and the military gets a cheaper, less problematic training device that its users are more likely familiar with.

Dancing Lessons Are Not Considered Health Care

I was just perusing my HSA's List of Allowable (and not allowable) Health Care Expenses to see what all I've been paying for out of pocket that I don't actually have to (like contact solution!). I came across a few that I found rather amusing...

• Dancing lessons: Not Qualified. Who thought dancing lessons would be covered as a health expense? Why, because it's aerobic exercise? Well then you better throw curling lessons on the list, too! And Wii Fit!
  
• Circumcision (non-infant): Not Qualified. Sorry, Abraham wannabes, unless you're eight days old, you're out of luck. Talk about adding insult to injury.
• DNA testing for paternal responsibility: Not Qualified. You know what is qualified though? Birth control. So are vasectomies. I wonder how many people upon learning that think "I sure wish I knew that last year".
• Experimental Drugs: Qualified. But only if obtained legally. I'm clearly thinking of the wrong kind of experimental drugs.
• Marijuana: Not Qualified. Ah, there we go.
• Smoking Program: Qualified. What's a smoking program? A program that's on fire? They're clearly not talking about a program for smoking marijuana. Maybe this is like a cigar club or something. If so, sign me up - I'm qualified!
  

Brinkster Customer Service Fail

A few months ago, I blogged about how "great" my web hosting company, Brinkster, is. Apparently they thought this faint praise was sincere, because they're back at it. I went to listen to some briTunes this afternoon and was met with a very generic parser error screen. Real lovely. Turns out this was true of all of the pages. I just visited the site last night and hadn't made any changes since, so I knew the error wasn't on my end.

I checked my email to see if I was notified of any outages, which was a waste of 40 seconds because that's not how Brinkster rolls. They view service issues as a way to increase site traffic (who cares if it's pissed off site traffic, right?) so they make you log in, chat with customer support and let them tell you condescendingly that the site is down for maintenance via this link. Sorry, guys, didn't realize that one of the requirements of being your customer was to check the Brinkster news page every hour to see if my site might be down. Ever hear of email?

Additionally, if my site is going to be down for 24 hours (which it was last time...we're approaching 12 this time), it should, at the very least, be set up to redirect to a nice, clean, plain-English page explaining that the site is currently down because of Brinkster's lousy servers and not because of me, the customer (even better if it provides a link to the news post). It's bad enough that the site is down, to throw some nondescript parser error message at you is inexcusable.

Unfortunately, explaining these ideas to customer support feels like explaining capitalism to a squirrel. They can nod* and pretend they understand that you want something in return for what you gave them, but really they don't care because they already have your nuts.

_____
* the computer senses this nodding and outputs "I have noted that for you" as a result

Griffey and Catheters

What do those have in common? For now, they are merely topics from the same doughnut meeting at my workplace. That's right, work here and you'll get to munch on a tasty treat while discussing topics such as kitty litter, bunk beds, toilets, and beer. All in the same meeting! (Not necessarily in that order, though). If that's not a pitch for the company, I don't know what is. Unfortunately, we're not really hiring right now. Sucks for you.

Street View and the Patriot Act

To anyone who is of the belief that Google Street View is "the Patriot Act in action", please go educate yourself before opening your mouth and sounding ridiculous. Google just added a ton of new locations, so I'm sure there will be more of an uprise by silly people than ever in the next few days. But before you speak and cause me to bang my head against my desk, please consider the following:

• Google is a corporation, not a government agency.
• Street View is not live, so please quit looking for the camera right outside your house. It already drove by 6 months ago.
• Google only travels on public property that any bozo can take pictures of (and when they accidentally stumble onto private property, they get in trouble for it and take it down)
• Google has technology that automatically blurs out faces and license plate numbers, so no, your wife can't tell that it was you leaving the strip club in the middle of the day. You might want to throw away that shirt though, just to be safe. If you're still worried about it, you can always hit the "Report a concern" link at the bottom of the image. It might also be a good idea to stop frequenting strip clubs in the middle of the day, pervert.

How many golden rings DID my true love give to me?

Most people would answer "five". According to the actual lyrics, they'd be wrong. Take a look:

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

"My true love" sent all those things just on the fifth day of Christmas. If what most people assume was correct, it would instead say something like this:

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings, in addition to the
Four calling birds sent to me on the fourth day of Christmas,
Three French hens sent to me on the third day of Christmas,
Two turtle doves sent to me on the second day of Christmas,
And the partridge in a pear tree sent to me on the first day of Christmas

But it doesn't. So instead we are left with the following gifts from said "true love":

1 x 12 = 12 Partridges in (a) pear tree(s)
Note: it is unclear whether each partridge got it's own pear tree or not
2 x 11 = 22 turtle doves
3 x 10 = 30 french hens
4 x 9 = 36 calling birds
5 x 8 = 40 golden rings
6 x 7 = 42 geese a-layin'
7 x 6 = 42 swans a-swimmin'
8 x 5 = 40 maids a-milkin'
9 x 4 = 36 ladies dancing
10 x 3 = 30 lords a-leapin'
11 x 2 = 22 pipers piping
12 x 1 = 12 drummers drumming

And you thought 8 maids a-milkin' sounded like a lot! We now have a total of 364 gifts, nearly one for each day of the year. Of those, there are 184 birds and 84 of 'em are either a-swimmin' or a-layin' (even more birds!). I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather just get a digital camera or something.

Alumni Addition

My high school has an "Alumni Addition" of their newsletter. No, it's not a math club. It's an embarrassment.

The newest 3 letter word

Jobs is a 3-letter word? Funny how you don't see this all over the news. Probably won't even be an SNL sketch about it.

TB

Person A: [Wearing a Tampa Bay Rays hat]
Person B: What does that stand for? Don't tell me....The Bears!

USDA

Person A: What does "USDA" stand for?
Person B: United States Department
Person A: of....?
Person B: America

*names have been changed to protect the ludicrous

Brinkster

My webhost is Brinkster. I have highly recommended Brinkster to the few clients that I have as a web developer. They have a great referral program.




So go get yourself a Brinkster website. Seriously, they're great.


However... like every good thing, there are side effects, and Brinkster is no exception. So, here is my disclaimer: Brinkster may cause headaches.

For example, your website might all of a sudden go down without you doing a thing. You won't know about it until a user tries to go to your website and sees nothing but the domain name listed there. So you will go to chat with Brinkster support and ask what's up and they will tell you the following:

"Windows updates were run on the computer and this caused the operating system to crash. We rolled back the updates that were run on the server this morning. This corrected most of the errors, but left the computer unable to communicate with the rest of the network or go online. We have built a new server to replace the one you were on and are moving the website files from the backups made a few hours before the crash. Once the files are restored, the website will be online. We truly apologize for the down time you have experienced today."

If you have an ounce of common sense, you will proceed to inquire whether they sent an email out explaining this because even though you didn't see one, you give them the benefit of the doubt and figure that you just didn't see it. Brinkster will respond:

"No we did not. Unless users were coming into chat earlier in the day.

We do not have an email system in place to do this."

Then you will proceed to bang your head against the desk, thus creating the aforementioned headache. That their server crashes and leaves your site down for hours is bad enough, but for them to knowingly not bother to have a basic system that at least informs their paying customers of the situation is simply inexcusable.

There are other things that may induce the side effects as well, but I won't bother to write them down because someone already did.

But by all means, if you need a website, go with Brinkster (using one of my reference links, of course). Just be wary of the potential side effects.

Desperate Times Call For Stupid Lawsuits

Democrats sue to make Rossi call himself "Republican" instead of "GOP"

The state Democratic Party filed suit Tuesday in an attempt to force Dino Rossi to list his party preference as "Republican" on the November ballot instead of "GOP Party."

Democrats say the Iraq War and low approval ratings for President Bush have left the Republican Party a damaged brand and that Rossi is trying to distance himself by using GOP as his affiliation.

Can anyone say desperate?

A statement issued by Rossi's campaign called the lawsuit "an act of a desperate incumbent." Rossi has said that he's used the term GOP for years and isn't trying to confuse voters.

Thanks. Now how about ridiculous?

"The idea that people don't know Dino Rossi is a Republican is just ridiculous," Esser said, noting that Gregoire's campaign and supporters have spent millions of dollars on ads making that clear.

Excellent, thank you, State Republican Party Chairman Luke Esser. Anyone else have anything to add?

Reed said he did advise candidates that if "they wanted to be taken seriously they shouldn't be making up names."

Hey, hold the phone, Secretary of State Sam Reed. You call yourself a Republican and you say GOP is a made up name? Seattle Times article, tell me where the term GOP came from.

GOP stands for Grand Old Party, a nickname the Republicans picked up in the 1870s.

OK, so the term has been around for over a century, I'm sure someone else has used it in the past 130 years, right?

Reed said he never specifically objected to using GOP and has used it himself on campaign signs.

Oh, Reed himself. Perfect. Insert foot in mouth, please.

Is this thing going to hold up in court, or can we just forget about it?

Reed also said Democrats could have challenged this in court months ago.

"The time to object was before candidate filings in the first week of June," he said. "Now counties have actually sent their ballots to the printers. The timing is really bad for an issue we thought had been pretty well resolved earlier."

King County elections officials said their ballots are indeed at the printers and several thousand already have been printed.

Democrats, seriously. Give it up. We're tired of the stupid lawsuits and the distractions and the relentless whining and complaining when things don't go your way. You're like a spoiled 5 year old. Here's a thought - if you're so scared that people in your party are "dumb" enough to vote for GOP when they intend to vote Democrat, maybe you should try informing them! It would be much better for your image than suing your opponent when he didn't do anything wrong. Sigh... why do I even bother? Wake me up when November ends.

Automatic Payment or Automatic Headache?

I hate Bank of America. Why, you ask? Well, there are a few reasons, including having a big announcement on the sidebar about Firefox being "fully supported" but whenever I click on any of the tabs such as "Bill Pay" when in Firefox, it tells me that my session has ended and makes me log in again. I finally had to revert to IE. This, to me, is not "full support".

But the main reason I hate Bank of America is because their automatic payment system is less logical than the ownership group of the Seattle Mariners (the only team that spends over $100 million for over 100 losses). Allow me to present the options they give you for determining how much you want the system to automatically pay:

• Always pay the minimum amount due as indicated on the e-Bill
• Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $___________
• Always pay the statement balance as indicated on the e-Bill
• Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $___________
• Always pay $_________ regardless of amount due

The only one that makes even a smidgen of sense is the first one. Unfortunately, I chose the second. Even more unfortunate, I checked the sub box and wrote "500" in the text box. I did this because when I read the option, my mind automatically converted what it actually said to what it logically should say. So instead of "Only make payment if this amount is less than or equal to $500", I read it as "Only pay up to $500". What's the point of setting an automatic payment if you have to worry about it not paying the amount? I thought automatic payments were designed so that you didn't have to worry about getting hosed by a $39 late fee (not to mention the additional $11.69 "finance charge" for the inconvenience of making them charge you money). Apparently not. At the very least, they should have this option:

• Always pay the statement balance as indicated on the e-Bill
• If this amount is greater than or equal to $___________, then just pay the minimum amount due

But, no. Then they wouldn't get their automatic $50 (what "automatic payment" really means) from the poor saps like me who for some reason still go around assuming that people have brains in their heads. Oh, and that last option? How in the world does that make sense?? What amount could you possibly put in there that doesn't ever result in you either not meeting the minimum or giving them more money than necessary? The only way that that option would make sense is if you only use that card for certain static, reoccurring payments (such as a car payment) and nothing else. But if that was the case, wouldn't the 2nd option work just as well?

Note to Amazon: You're Trying too Hard

Late last year, I bought an HD DVD player from amazon.com as a Christmas gift. Two, actually. They both came with HD DVDs. This year, I bought a "Playstation 3 Cordless MediaBoard Keyboard" for my living room media center because it was confirmed that it works for more than just the PS3 (it in fact works with my computer, the Xbox and even the Wii). Apparently that is enough to start receiving weekly emails like this:

Movies & TV Let them choose from millions of items › Amazon.com Gift Cards Your Amazon.com Today's Deals See All Departments

Dear Amazon.com Customer, As someone who has shopped for high-def players or high-definition movies and games, you might be interested in our current Blu-ray Sale, where you can save up to 40% on popular Blu-ray movies and TV. Also, be sure to check out this week's Blu-ray new releases and what's hot for PlayStation 3. › Shop the sale

This Week's New Releases on Blu-ray Stargate - Continuum [Blu-ray] $26.95 Dark City (Director's Cut) [Blu-ray] $18.95 The Hunt for Red October [Blu-ray] $18.95 Top Gun [Blu-ray] $19.95 Shine a Light [Blu-ray] $25.95 What's Hot for PlayStation 3 Metal Gear Solid 4 $59.99 Soul Calibur IV $59.99 Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution $59.99 NCAA Football 09 $59.99 More to Explore Sign Up for Blu-ray Delivers James Bond in High Definition Visit the Blu-ray Store

We hope you found this message to be useful. However, if you'd rather not receive future e-mails of this sort from Amazon.com, please opt-out here. Please note that product prices and availability are limited time offers and are subject to change. Prices and availability were accurate at the time this newsletter was sent; however, they may differ from those you see when you visit Amazon.com. (c) 2008 Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. All rights reserved. Amazon, Amazon.com and the Amazon.com logo and 1-Click are registered trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. Amazon.com, 1200 12th Ave. S., Suite 1200, Seattle, WA 98144-2734. Reference 10036370

Yup, one of those puppies gets delivered to my inbox every week as new blu-ray movies and PS3 games are released. I have bought games and accessories for the Xbox and the Wii, but do I get similar emails for those products? Hardly ever. I just went into recommendations and told it to not use the keyboard for recommendations, so we'll see if that makes a difference. The HD DVDs and players were already marked as gifts (so I assume they don't count toward recommendations, but who knows). The email states that I was sent this because I am someone "who has shopped for high-def players or high-definition movies and games", so apparently buying someone an HD DVD player as a gift last Christmas means that I myself own a Blu-ray player, and since I am a gamer, the Blu-ray player is in fact a PS3. Don't let your computers think too hard, Amazon. We don't want you becoming a merchandising version of Skynet.

Zondervan sued by mentally unstable person

Man sues Zondervan to change anti-gay reference in Bible

Bradley LaShawn Fowler is suing Zondervan for $60 million, claiming that "their versions of the Bible that refer to homosexuality as a sin violate his constitutional rights and have caused him emotional pain and mental instability".

"The intent of the publisher was to design a religious, sacred document to reflect an individual opinion or a group's conclusion to cause 'me or anyone who is a homosexual to endure verbal abuse, discrimination, episodes of hate, and physical violence ... including murder,' Fowler wrote."

First of all, Zondervan did not "design the document". The Bible's been around longer than Zondervan, and they weren't the ones to start saying homosexuality was a sin, Fowler. You're shooting the messenger, and hoping the messenger has $60 million to cough up. If you're going to sue someone, you should be suing God. Good luck with that.

Secondly, who the heck forced him or his family or anyone to read the Bible? Zondervan certainly didn't. There are plenty of books and other media out there that go against what I believe, and some I'm sure could give me enough reason to claim "mental instability", but you know what I do? I don't read them!

This case is so dumb, I don't know what's worse - the fact that this mentally unstable idiot is suing or the fact the Court is even considering this case (with "very genuine concerns" to boot). Unbelievable.

Christianity without Christ

http://www.nationalpost.com/story-printer.html?id=490325

Am I the only one that thinks that if you claim to be a follower of something or someone, but you don't actually believe in it, you shouldn't be claiming to be following them? This just defies logic:

Even Rev. Giuliano agrees that the name Christian -- which carries the baggage of colonialism and other ills -- should probably be phased out. Instead, he would replace "Christian" with "Follower of the Way" or "Follower of Jesus."

Uh, newsflash: Christian = Follower of Jesus. That's like saying you're going to replace "African-American" with "black". Whatever they call themselves doesn't really matter though because the book doesn't match it's cover!

"The church is extremely important because it can be a transformative element in individuals' lives and communities," she said. "And that was the root of what the Christian Church was about: transforming the way people see themselves in relation to the communities around them and in relation to each other and about living that in community. Christianity took over that story and manipulated it into a very different story."

Wrong! The root of what the Christian Church was about was Christ!! Hence the name! My word this hurts my brain. This is what happens when people refuse to read their Bible or history books or think logically about anything. Even more sickening is that she is able to stay in her brainwashing position - that no one in her congregation has spoken out, and that the "head" of the United Church of Canada is too spineless to do a darn thing about it. It's not like no one was warned:

"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction." -2 Peter 2:1

Emergency

emer·gen·cy
\i-ˈmər-jənt-sē\

1 : an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action (Source: Merriam-Webster)

2 : an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for waiting in a crowded room with no cell phone reception for over 3 hours listening to soothing¹ renditions of old movie music before going to wait in a smaller room for 2 additional hours with the music replaced by screams of other people experiencing similar circumstances (Source: Valley Medical Center Emergency Room)


¹ crappy

Why Teenage Gang Members Should Not Have Children

It's the classic example:

Westside Ballers hispanic knocks up black member of the Crips. 4 years later, they still can't decide which gang their kid should join. I'm sure there's a lot to consider, like which one has the best health care plan. It's not a choice any young parent should have to make.

Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join

Teen Survives Fall from 12th Floor

Oh my word, that's amazing, how is that even possible, I want to know more!!

I imagine that that would be the reaction of people when they read a headline like that, right? It certainly caught my eye when I saw it on CNN. So I clicked on the story (linked below) and what did I learn? Oh, he landed on the 10th floor. Ooooh. I'm sure it was very scary and exciting for him and all, but for CNN to over-dramatize a two-story fall on the front page with a headline like that is ludicrous. I guess it's a slow news day.

(The local news story that CNN links to actually has a tamer headline, but they still don't bother to mention that he landed on the 10th floor until the second paragraph.)

Charlotte Teen Falls From 12th Floor - Charlotte News Story - WSOC Charlotte

Romney says McCain capable of "leading the county"

Romney, McCain close ranks

Mitt Romney endorsed one-time rival John McCain this afternoon, calling him "capable of leading the county at a dangerous hour."

I'm guessing this is just a typo by Foon Rhee of boston.com instead of what Romney actually said, but it was on the top of Google News, making it a pretty bad typo. I wonder what county Romney is referring to...Suffolk, maybe?