Apathetic Retardation

Sometimes, like right now, I find myself with so much work to do, I end up doing none of it. Procrastination you say? Nah, that's way too light of a term. This is apathetic retardation. We all procrastinate to some degree, but I believe I'm exceptionally good at it. Unfortunately, being good at a bad thing makes you bad (what does being bad at a good thing make you?). So getting a gold medal in apathetic retardation would not be that esteemed of an accomplishment, at least not for me. Because I know better. Apathetic retardation will not be a category in the special Olympics anytime soon because this form of retardation involves choice and awareness that I am doing something retarded. And I don't care. At least not enough to do anything about it.

I have two major work projects that I am rather behind on and are due at the end of the week and yet here I sit, IMing, surfing the web, and blogging. This morning I was at least distracted by other work - some of my newly acquired network admin duties arose and took over - but right now I have absolutely no excuse for not working on these projects. So instead I'll be working late into the night, skipping BSF, rejecting friends' invites to come hang out, and taking a break only to watch the new episode of Heroes. Normal people get their work done during the day so they can go home and relax and do whatever they want. I used to be that way. Now I neglect my work during the day so I can do it at night instead of hanging out with all the other normal people. Even animals know to do their work during the day, except for the nocturnal ones. I've never seen a squirrel at dusk frantically gathering all the nuts it can because it was too busy staring at a leaf all day. That'd be nuts (pun begrudgingly intended).

Now I'm going nuts. I even had a dream the other night, and I don't mean the Martin Luther King, Jr. variety. I mean the type you have while you sleep at night, that normal people often have. Although I normally don't have them. In this rare occurrence of a dream, I survived a rather large cruise missile landing just a few yards away from me. I was also late for work, both in the dream and in reality because of the dream (the only difference was that in real life I didn't answer the question "where have you been?" with "surviving a missile crash" - although I might have, had anyone asked). The dream was nuts, and I had no control over that. But what I think caused it, I did have control over - apathetic retardation.

So if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do....