State report: Texas has too many reports - Yahoo! News

State report: Texas has too many reports - Yahoo! News

There's a 668-page state report out that says that the state of Texas has too many reports.

I think the only thing that could've made it funnier is if it also said the reports were too long.

Ah, irony, how I've missed you.

Losing It?

2 realizations I must preface this post with:

1. I haven't blogged in a really, really long time. After this post, I still won't have blogged anything substantial in a really, really long time.
2. I already have a post with the exact same title. They are nothing alike.

Ok, on with the actual post.

I was reading one of those ridiculous MySpace bulletin surveys (no idea why) and one of the questions was "Do you regret losing your virginity?" This struck me as weird for some reason because virginity doesn't really seem to me like something you would lose persay. I doubt you'd wake up the next morning and say "Oh dear, now where has my virginity run off to this time?" No. The word "losing" or "lost" implies that there is a chance that what you've lost might be found. And last I checked, virginity is something that can't exactly be reclaimed. "Oh, there it is. I keep leaving it on the coffee table and forgetting about it." Sure ya do.

Here are the 15 definitions from the American Heritage Dictionary for lose with examples for some:

lose (lōōz) v. lost (lôst, lŏst), los·ing, los·es v. tr.
To be unsuccessful in retaining possession of; mislay: He's always losing his car keys.
To be deprived of (something one has had): lost her art collection in the fire; lost her job.
To be left alone or desolate because of the death of: lost his wife.
To be unable to keep alive: a doctor who has lost very few patients.
To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To be unable to keep control or allegiance of: lost his temper at the meeting; is losing supporters by changing his mind.
To fail to win; fail in: lost the game; lost the court case.
To fail to use or take advantage of: Don't lose a chance to improve your position.
To fail to hear, see, or understand: We lost the plane in the fog. I lost her when she started speaking about thermodynamics.
To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To rid oneself of: lost five pounds.
To consume aimlessly; waste: lost a week in idle occupations.
To wander from or become ignorant of: lose one's way.
To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
To become slow by (a specified amount of time). Used of a timepiece.
To cause or result in the loss of: Failure to reply to the advertisement lost her the job.
To cause to be destroyed. Usually used in the passive: Both planes were lost in the crash.
To cause to be damned.

The only one that could work in this scenario is the second to last one which I've italicized. And that one uses a plane crash as an example. Great.

So I think that that phrase needs a little revamping. I'm not sure exactly what to replace it with, but if you give me some ideas, I can submit them to the MLA.

Possibilities to replace lose: "destroy", "wipe out", "obliterate", "relinquish"...???