Friday, May 8, 2009

Dancing Lessons Are Not Considered Health Care

I was just perusing my HSA's List of Allowable (and not allowable) Health Care Expenses to see what all I've been paying for out of pocket that I don't actually have to (like contact solution!). I came across a few that I found rather amusing...
  • Dancing lessons: Not Qualified. Who thought dancing lessons would be covered as a health expense? Why, because it's aerobic exercise? Well then you better throw curling lessons on the list, too! And Wii Fit!
  • Circumcision (non-infant): Not Qualified. Sorry, Abraham wannabes, unless you're eight days old, you're out of luck. Talk about adding insult to injury.
  • DNA testing for paternal responsibility: Not Qualified. You know what is qualified though? Birth control. So are vasectomies. I wonder how many people upon learning that think "I sure wish I knew that last year".
  • Experimental Drugs: Qualified. But only if obtained legally. I'm clearly thinking of the wrong kind of experimental drugs.
  • Marijuana: Not Qualified. Ah, there we go.
  • Smoking Program: Qualified. What's a smoking program? A program that's on fire? They're clearly not talking about a program for smoking marijuana. Maybe this is like a cigar club or something. If so, sign me up - I'm qualified!