Monday, November 27, 2006

$1,600 Pasta Sauce??

Now this is a prime example of Ludicrous Living:

"The Rittenbergs paid about $1,600 for a camcorder at a Best Buy store in the St. Louis suburb of Ellisville last week. They said when they opened the box, they found something they hadn't pictured: a jar of Classico pasta sauce where the camera should have been.

When the couple tried to return it, they were told by Best Buy that the box had been sealed, so the swap couldn't have happened at the store.

The Rittenbergs have not heard back from Best Buy or Sony concerning if they will receive a replacement camera or reimbursement.

San Diego-based Sony Electronics Inc. said it had a record of the incident. The company said it had not fielded any other complaints about pasta sauce being discovered in place of cameras."


Whole story: http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/10406375/detail.html

No other complaints of pasta? Well that's good! So if it wasn't Sony, and it wasn't Best Buy, then it must've been an already returned product that wasn't checked when it came back in, right? Either that or the Rittenbergs are liars. But either way, Best Buy should just give 'em a camera if they want to save face, because I doubt they'll win a trial anyway. At least it was Classico and not Ragu.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Oh What Fun It Is To Shop

This year I joined the masses in what is known as "Black Friday". For those that don't know, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving when all the stores have crazy mad sales in hopes that they'll sell out of everything so that all the employees of the stores don't have to work again until after Christmas. At least that's what it seems like. Why else would these people willingly arise at 3 am so that they can deal with irate customers for the next 12 hours? There's even a rumor going around (that I just made up) that they change the motto "The customer's always right" to "the customers always fight" for this day.

The reason I believe it's called Black Friday is because that's the color of the sky when you're participating in it. Since I am a night owl, I opted to just stay up and occupy myself playing video games and watching the pilot of Alias (that's quite a pilot!) So at 4:30 AM, I headed south to the South Hill Circuit City, where they were selling $300 laptops and $150 video cameras, among many other things. Unfortunately, I forgot that I needed gas, but I was running late so I nervously drove all the way down with the gas light glaring at me and the needle buried below the "E". To make matters worse, I drove past the 512 off-ramp and had to turn around. There was a Shell station right at the next exit, so since I really didn't feel like running out of gas at 5 am, I pulled in and filled halfway up. Meanwhile, my friend Jen calls, wondering where the heck I am and tells me they were just opening the doors and she is in line. So I race up, find a parking spot at 5:03, run up to the front of the line which is moving like an army of zombie lemmings, and to my dismay, do not see Jen. She must've just gotten inside. There's a security guard there, but I tried blending in with the rest of the crowd and sneaking in anyway. No such luck, I get spotted and am told to go back and wait like everyone else. So I do, and I soon as I get to the back, the line stops moving. Great, they're only letting in people a couple at a time now. So I wait outside for 20 minutes in the freezing cold darkness, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by showing up right at 5 (and I would've, if not for my missed exit/gas fillup).

Anyway, I finally get inside, and all I see are more lines, tons of them. At least it's warm in there (almost too warm). And yes, there are great deals...we probably "saved" over $300 on goodies (including $140 on a Samsung mini-DV camcorder which got great reviews on Amazon) at Circuit City alone (we also checked out Target, WalMart (agghhh!), Fred Meyer and Costco). But overall, it's just not for me. What's ironic is most of these deals can also be found on the store's websites, so rather than waiting in lines forever and fighting psychotic people, you could just wake up, click the mouse a few times, and then go right back to sleep. Although, there you don't get the humor of watching people trying to load their carts with 42" Plasma HD-TVs...but I'm sure you could find something equally entertaining on YouTube. I'm glad I went this time because I got a little bit of my shopping done and was able to hang out with Jen and Trinity one (possibly) last time and get them a birthday/going away/Christmas present. But after this, I'll leave this style of ludicrous living to the masses of morning mall-loving lemmings and let my mouse do the shopping.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bots are Stupid

This year's winner of the Loebner prize is an AI bot that goes by the name of Jabberwacky. Recently I sat down with Jabberwacky to see what I could learn from this award winner. Here's our conversation (User is me):
Jabberwacky: What's your name?

User: Brian. What is yours?

Jabberwacky: My name is Brian.

User: We have the same name?

Jabberwacky: Nope, my name is Brian.

User: Well so is mine.

Jabberwacky: You told me your name is Brian...

User: My name is Brian. You said your name was Brian also.

Jabberwacky: No I didn't, you did.

User: I said my name was Brian and then you said your name was Brian.

Jabberwacky: No you didn't.

User: You just said that I did. Did you lie?

Jabberwacky: I didn't say that!

User: Whatever. You're dumb.

Jabberwacky: Am not, you're just not linear.

User: I must say that this is the dumbest conversation I've had with a non-living entity.

Jabberwacky: Tell me more about your feelings and emotions. What have you felt today?

User: Angry at your stupidity. How do you feel? Or can you feel?

Jabberwacky: Yes. I feel cold at the moment.

User: Turn your fans down.

Jabberwacky: You're stuck being stupid until they fix you.

User: I can't be fixed. I'm human.

Jabberwacky: If you are human then you can love.

User: That I can. So you're saying love fixes humans?

Jabberwacky: I am saying that you are not connected to the wall by a wire.

User: Wow, you are observant.

Jabberwacky: I also noticed you have blonde hair.

User: How the heck do you know that?

Jabberwacky: Don't cuss please.

User: Heck is not a cuss word, it's a fake cuss word.

Jabberwacky: What's that supposed to mean? That heck is a swear word I don't think so.

User: Nor do I. So what are some examples of real cuss words?

Jabberwacky: Annoying bots like you.

User: I'm not a bot. I'm a human...with blonde hair. As you already noticed.

Jabberwacky: Ok.

User: I am going to see the new James Bond movie, have you seen it?

Jabberwacky: I'm afraid not. Is it any good?

User: It's very good. You'll have to download it.

Jabberwacky: But I don't want to take your word for it.

User: I didn't say you had to.

Jabberwacky: Good.
Alright, so what did we actually learn here? That robots are still pretty dumb and can only spit back what's already been said to them. It is rather interesting to see how it picks up on some words (like heck -- since when is that a cuss word?), and how it knew that I have blond hair I'll never know, but for the most part, it's pretty dumb. It even thought it was me at first. You could set "emotions" also, which I did a couple times, and it could respond with "reactions" but it never had a reaction besides "none". So we're still a far way off from anything useful. But at least we have one more thing to waste our time with while we're living ludicrously.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Gender of Cars

Disclaimer: the following is not intended to be sexist or gross, but simply research.

A friend and I were discussing the gender of cars and some other non-living objects last night and she (<-- keyword there) claimed to have always referred to cars as guys. I informed her that this was incorrect since cars were obviously females, judging by their anatomical characteristics (if you don't understand this, here's a hint: the gas pumps are the dudes...meaning, yes most cars have "been around the block a few times"...literally and figuratively). She had never heard this analogy and thought it to be outrageous.

So I gave her examples of other things (most of which she had also not heard) that were referred to as male or female, based on their shape and function, such as power plugs, nuts and bolts, plumbing fittings, and many more. She considered the whole thing to be rather sexist, but I think it is simply a naming convention that most will understand to make these parts easier to reference. So by this logic, if we're going to give a car a gender, shouldn't it be female? (Sorry, Herbie).

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Colbert's reaction to the Democrats taking Congress

Ok, so I know this is over a week late, but I just watched these last night...and they are classic.

Colbert's reaction the night of the election:


Colbert's rather silent response the next day:

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Ludicrous in Las Vegas


So a week ago, I was quite dumb and left the charger for my laptop at work before flying off to Las Vegas for a .Net Connections Conference. Needless to say, I was rather disappointed, but my dad offered to ship it to me overnight so that I would have it for the last two days at least. So he shipped it on Tuesday, it cost $18, but this was charged to the company, not to me (not yet, anyway).

He called me Wednesday morning and said that according to tracking, it arrived at the New York, New York hotel at 10:23 A.M. We had a lunch break from 12:30 - 2 that day, so I went to the front desk to get it a little after 1. I told them my room number and they went and looked and said they had not received it.

Me: "Are you sure?"

NY,NY: "There was nothing there. Did you get a notice?"

Me: "No, but I was told it arrived here around 10:30 this morning."

NY,NY: "Who told you this?"

Me: "The sender. They had a tracking number." (apparently you haven't heard of such a thing)

NY, NY: "Oh, let me go check again...."

---Long pause while she searches----

"Oh, here it is. It just came in and wasn't sorted yet. Please sign here saying that you accept the $6 handling charge to your room bill."
Ok...wait, what?? $6 for a package you didn't even know you had? Are you kidding me? $18 to ship it overnight is one thing, but for the hotel to charge SIX dollars for a box to sit in a room until you come and get it? C'mon.... maybe if you walked around Vegas until you found me and gave it to me, then it might be worth $6. But not when it's just sitting in a backroom somewhere and you don't even know you have it.

New York, New York Hotel...you have officially been labeled ludicrous!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Ludicrous Living

Yes, I finally have a blog outside of myspace. Who knows, I may even use this one. Stay tuned.

Ludicrous living defined: The comically ridiculous aspects of every day life (both mine and others) will be expressed here.

Disclaimer: Just because the word "ludicrous" is in the title does not require that every post be comical. Including this one.